I began listing out things that I could do just to get a glance of her, once more. I realized I could do anything, everything. The very next moment told me that I could do absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
I kept on dwindling between these two states, every other second. And that dwindling was not sinusoidal in nature. It had extreme peaks, spikes of an infinite positive and negative in a vast time axis with minuscule divisions.
Time was a blip, sometimes... and an eternal lonesome love song awaiting the end of forever, the next second.
I could have given up everything just to see her one more time. But if I give up everything, will I be that "I" that has always loved her? Will there ever be remains of the "me" that she has loved?
Would I be making a selfish decision to give up myself? For it was not just me in that "myself"... it has moments of everything and everyone that made me "me". It has her, it has my creators too, and every emotion that I had felt and some... that had been left unfelt.
I could do everything and nothing for that glance. And once this feeling made itself felt, every ounce of my existence felt unsettling, almost warning me of its fragility, of its volatility. I did not matter anymore.
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