Feelings: One Life To Live

Showing posts with label Feelings. Show all posts

Monday, August 17, 2026

Aphasia

Losing...

Losing a voice...

A voice that spoke your heart

A voice that hid your heart

A voice that parked your vulnerability

A voice that sparked in a vulnerability

Losing that voice...

Losing...

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Unwoven Dawns

Completion — was just what has always been aimed for.

Though paths went on, dwellings were always onshore.

A desire to perfect things beyond perfection,

Was stitched into every sweater in her collection.

The winter that existed once, is nowhere to be seen,

Every cashmere strand there, still preserved, holds its sheen.

They smell of fresh sea and lavender of the yesteryears,

Treasured in the oak chest of drawers, in neat tiers.

The spring now— jubilant in bursts of blossoms and blooms,

Dances to tunes of velvet and songs of colorful plumes.

But there's still a teal scarf for the yellow-scented autumn breeze,

Left imperfect (knowingly unfinished) for the salt of distant seas.

The unwoven thread has been a solace for the breathing heart,

In aches of unendings, beats promise of a dawning start.

/ 14

: 133

[ep11_12]

Thursday, January 1, 2026

Blooming Bliss

A dew-kissed blade of morning grass,

Embellished in shiny drops of liquid glass,

In the field of earth-scented golden daisies,

Opened up to the shimmering misty skies,

Unravelling hope as the sunrays dance.

There are glimpses of paints from distant lands,

That have color of sands from the brighter strands,

The sweet sublime fragrance now fills up the air,

Scintillating glory so radiant and rare,

And sings of the bliss across seas and the sands.

/ 10

: 75

Saturday, December 27, 2025

The Final Alchemy

I let a tear drop roll down my eyes

To witness the path it carves;

It rolled down as smoothly as it could

Through the soft, lit terrain of my cheeks,

That housed decades of memories—

An ode to the archive of smiles.

I awaited —

As it would fall down on my chest,

That caged my heart.

But it slowed down...

Just before it could trickle down,

As if hesitating,

Assessing the strength of the heart that beat

Thousands of layers beneath.

Would those chambers be free enough

To accept the stories

That stirred in that tiny drop?

Would the DNA in the blood

That pumped through their doors

Identify one of their own...

And question the tearducts

For the betrayal of the veil?

Or would it be spellbound,

To finally witness a silent dialogue

And pause for a while?

A moment or more passed—

And the teardrop had its answer, perhaps.

It can't risk the fall

The cushioning might not be strong enough

To take the plunge.

Why risk the roads of the teardrops

That bear a hundred other addresses?

It curved and took the rougher slope,

An unmapped lane,

Among the shadows of the horizontal track

Glistening parallel to the chin,

And waited there for a while.

Until it evaporated

From the warmth...

Radiating from the lips adorning a smile.

Until it evaporated, slowly,

Into nothingness.

/ 42

: 228

An odd number of stanzas with even number of lines

An even number of stanzas with odd number of words

An odd number of stanzas with even number of words

Sunday, July 27, 2025

I had told her earlier that I do not want a cake and she had confirmed that she knew it. She had assured me that it was just the two of us eating out like any other day. But it wasn't just any other day. And I had no idea about it either. Absolutely nothing. Keine Ahnung. Zero. Zilch.

Our final evaluations were already over. AN and RP were already back home by then. MR and I... we were still there in the town - both of us had some additional work. We used to meet up every now and then, but the frequency had reduced a lot even if we were in the same town, just a little over a kilometer's distance away.

So, on my birthday, MR asked me to go out for lunch together. I reminded her again that there can't be any typical celebrations (cake and dessert stuff). She affirmed that it would be just a simple lunch.

There was no reason for me to expect anything anyway - an out of the blue event or any surprise of sorts. I mean, it was just me. In addition, it's always difficult to hide things from me. I kind of had a knack for sensing out things like that. Plus a surprise event for me was even out of imagination.So, unaware of anything, without any clue, I entered the restaurant - one of my preferred places in that town. Oh my, was I wrong? And how?

******

I love planning surprises and/or events, because I know how to do that. Most often than not, I would know everyone's preference: of food, of gift, and how best to execute everything that they would like. It always made sense to me.

Noticing or observing minor details about people's expressions while listening to them, what makes their eyes shine brighter, what makes them smile unknowingly, and thus knowing what they like had always been my thing. I have always believed that being that attentive was my self-assigned duty of sorts.

But you see, I had never been in the receiving. And I never imagined or believed myself to be worthy of that sort of privilege. For starters, others hardly ever knew anything about me or my preferences. I never imagined that someone else too can be attentive towards my jibber jabber and get to know about me from that. But they did.

******

Guess what... MR wasn't alone in the restaurant, AN and RP were there too! For me. For several minutes, I couldn't believe that they had come all the way just for me! Why would anybody?! I mean, it's just me!

RP had travelled some 100+ kms, some 300 kms for AR, and even though MR was in the town, she had taken out of her work to plan this. They repeated it, in a non-chalant yet in an utmost caring way, to make me believe that whatever I was witnessing was actually happening... in this universe ... and it was not some crossover from a different universe where I can be made to feel so special. Till date, I wonder if it was just a beautiful summer fever dream.

We had lunch... together after a month. After lunch, they gave me the gift they got for me. I mean how much more could one expect... this already was far far off from any expectations I could possibly have.

As I unwrapped the gift, I saw that it was something I had passingly mentioned months back, unintentionally. I wasn't even planning to purchase it myself. It was just mentioned in a breezy conversation and that too not explicitly.

It was like somebody mentioning that they used to paint earlier and probably should give painting another chance, and you end up buying them a set of fine brushes and paints. Brushes and paints were never mentioned, it was just a casual conversation about painting. (It wasn't paints and brushes. That's an example to not reveal what the actual gift was.) They observed, remembered, and searched for it: exactly what I would love and use.

Since it was a first for me, I didn't know how to express what I was feeling. And there was so much of it... the emotions. Such gesture was new... towards me. I never knew I was even eligible for such warmth. I kept wondering if it was right.

When you put in effort for someone else, someone you care for, it doesn't even feel like an effort, but when you are the one receiving it, it means the world and more.

After talking for a bit, MR returned to her work, RP to her home, and AN stayed at my place (since returning the same day wasn't an option for her). She left the next day after breakfast.

That was not the last time we met...the four of us together. It was once after that, the same year after a few months. Now, all of us are awaiting for our next meet up. It feels like a distant dream. But you know if something that wasn't even a dream (a non-dream, if you will) could come true, this surely will.

Sunday, May 18, 2025

Crème Brûlée-d

Cold.

Visibly frozen. Feels cold too.

But it is that unseen warmth

That gives it its

Distinct Identity.

Only the chosen ones

Would know

And could feel

The warmth

That solidifies and unifies

Its sweetness.

Bold.

Hard. Tough like a weapon.

But the essence is in that

Creamy gentle softness

That defines its

Existence.

Only the souls

Who have the

Empathy to cross that

Firm shell

Can immerse in that

Soft caress.

/11 + 12

: 72

Friday, September 8, 2023

Your Story

All she wanted was to love

But how could she

Knowing what it could have done

All she wanted was to console them

But how could she

Knowing that her hug would be shunned

Love is all she was

So she withdrew to corners

Where she would be hard to find

Until You found her

And she sparkled

Like the bejeweled stars

Yes, she melted

But she melted in Love

And she loved like Love never could

She danced

And dazzled and glistened with You

She glimmered and shimmered

And blushed when she knew

That she was destined

Destined With You

That's where your story began

For she was Ice

And You were the sun

Friday, August 25, 2023

That is also me

That no one knows

The one with mystic intricacies

And an equivalent framework

As any other me

But this has been special

In ways that

I never really could apprehend

That is also me

That knows the shades of the cosmos

And believes in every dust

For that is what stars are made of

And moons and stones and home

Yes there's something beautiful

And vivaciously precious

In every granule that that sees

That is also me

That chooses the light

And also glorifies the night

For there's an enigma that each beholds

And thousands of microcosmos

That breathes life and everything glows

There's a universe and many such more

That flavours every dream with adore

Yes, that is also me

That's so hopelessly romantic

That finds hope and beauty in everything I see

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Words

Meaningful English Translation:

I have great reverence
for words
I treasure them
But when it is You
Words too feel irrelevant

How do I express
Everything that is felt
Or the emotions that are evoked...
In the mere frivolity of words!?

*Initially composed in German, translated to English

Sunday, April 2, 2023

Hare on the Moon

The first time I listened

To the story of the

Hare on the moon

I too wanted to go there

Not for the moon

But for the Hare

Who probably was still there

I kept wondering

How it must have felt

To have a celestial body

All just to yourself

There's the majestic view

Without the slightest sound

It must be surrealistic

But how would it feel

With not a dear one around

I was worried then

But days passed and

I knew it was probably

Just a special tale

Now as I look up at the moon

I find myself still wondering

About a possibly unseen rune

There must be more

To the compassion of the hare

Is it there to soothe a soul

That looks up for solace

In nights when

The moon is not whole

Or to convey hearty whispers

From the loving souls

To their beloved listeners

------------------------------------------------------------------

A little behind the scenes:

When I listened to the story, I knew it was a story. However, as it always has been, I somehow associate life with everything, even inanimate objects. So, I kept wondering about the hare and its feelings.

I wondered if it was infact a gift to be on the moon or if the hare felt otherwise. But as time passed on, I tried to make peace with the situation of the mythical hare. But every single time I see the moon, when the silhouette of the hare is apparent, I return to my childhood musings.

The hare is a symbol of compassion, intuition, creativity, new beginnings, and spring time. So, it makes sense that it might be there (symbolically) for a reason. Probably it acts as a medium of communication between loved ones who are far apart. Or it may act as a companion to someone who is probably feeling a bit blue and aloof. Or just to tell, "You are not alone. You might be on earth and I might be alone on moon. Even if I am a long way from you, I am there for you. As long as we are there together, we are never really alone."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday, February 18, 2023

Devoid

Feelings have

A language of their own.

Let it be constricted

Just to make sure

That the words in this language

Are not being too extravagant.

What if they are clothed

In a translucent veil?

What if they spell out everything

Without realizing

That the place they are in

Is not in the middle of nowhere

Or in the landscape of the world

That lies within the realms of my heart

But is a podium

In the bare world

Of monochromes

With hints of rainbows.

What if they mistake

Those tiny splashes of rainbows

To be the ethereal paintings in my heart.

Let it be constricted.

And thus the world becomes

Devoid of another expression.

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Would You?

May these feelings persist and grow

In the dimensions

We do not even know?

May these emotions blossom and flourish

Till the eternity

That we have in our wish?

If I say I want the thoughts to pursue

Would you concur

Even if a renewed world may ensue?

To peach toned sunrises and calming waters

Would you walk with me

Through springs, autumns, and winters?

Saturday, January 28, 2023

The Voice

There are some voices

That are calming and gentle

That can relax your soul

Enough to put yourself

In the lap of a sweet sleep.

There are some voices

That are radiant and vibrant

That can energize your heart

Enough to put yourself

In the embrace of a spirited smile.

And then there is that one voice

Vivacious than a thousand rainbows

But gentler than the breeze

That can soothe your being

But make your heart skip a beat

That has the passion of the waves

But is balming like flowery days

Enough to make you experience

The immenseness of Love.

Thursday, August 18, 2022

What Clouds Say

Sometimes it feels...

As if the clouds have a lot to say...

As if they are trying to transmit

unsent messages...

As if they are relaying

unspoken words...

As if they are conveying

unavowed feelings...

And hinting on the existence of bonds

that are beyond boundaries

In words of their own

written across the glorious sky.

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Smile

I never knew

I have a

gleam in my eyes

when I smile

Until...

someone told me so.

I would probably have

just brushed it off

but I closed my eyes

And thought

for a while.

I sensed

an identical gleam

in someone's eyes too.

And I realized

who it was

who reflected

in my every smile.

Thursday, August 4, 2022

Cosmos Rays

Once upon a moon, I wandered

Deep in the tall grey forest

It was never a journey

I wished to take

Yet I never wondered

Why I was there

It was calm everywhere

Enough of it to hear

The rustle of the leaves

Yet I never listened

My thoughts,

if there were any,

Hovered around

In a brownian motion

As they meandered in the

Flickering light of the glow worms

Then on a morning like any other

You shined on me, like the

First rays from the brilliant sun

From far across the mountains

With your smile

Sweeter than ambrosia

And your snuggling grasp

Softer than the breeze

You showed me the path

I had long forgotten

And as we walked through

The field of the Cosmos flowers

I could feel my heart beat again

To the melody of your breath

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Butterfly

There were days

And there have been

Nights too

In the many years

That I have lived

In this planet blue

But the days now

Have been longer

Or may be shorter, who knew?

And so have been

The nights too

It was beautiful before

And now it is too

Everything is just different

The mystical night

And the shining dew

Since I realized

What I felt about you.

Friday, December 31, 2021

If...

If there was a time for this and that

And a space where we could meet at

If the day began and the night set

In unvarying moments like a clock preset...

Will it be any different

Than what it is now

And if that is to be,

Would the emotions avow!

If a dawn blooms with glory of the dream

The night hums and the stars beam

If the moonlight danced on the silver brook

And the pages liven up in my reverie laced book...

Will the zephyr sing

Of those tales and more

And if it does, would the

Concealed thoughts come to the fore!

Saturday, December 18, 2021

Euphoria

The longing

To sense that intangible essence

Just to ensure its palpable presence

But then realising

That it is probably dimensionless

And maybe impossible to express

***********

What if it were

Possibly in a state of Unaware

In those countless worlds

Where You and I are there

Like a long lost Dream

Wrapped in a satin string

And a destined charm

In the meadows of Spring

In all universes I have been

These emotions 've never seen

What is this feeling

That I am unable to gauge

When you smile at me

With that enigmatic gaze

The edges arching, I fly

In the skies of Utopia

Gliding through your smile

All I can feel is ... Euphoria!

=================================

A Little Something:

There's a difference of a single letter between "LIVE" and "LOVE"... just a minor aspect between just living and living with Love.

If we could let go off the edgy aspects of "I", (while keeping its essence, of course- so to say, not losing the core concept of being, but just the edges), "LIVE" can be transformed to "LOVE".

The last stanza, "The edges arching", is written keeping this 'playing with the linguistic characteristics' aspect as reference.

=================================

Saturday, July 10, 2021

And Again!

And again! One more time.

It definitely is not magic or any form of enchantment. Then, why does it feel so?

Has it always been like this or is this something new... like the eighth color in the rainbow! And ninth, tenth, and eleventh.

Why did I not witness these many colors in the rainbow before! Were they always there and I never noticed..or are the colors blooming with the way I feel? There's definitely something which is missing, or perhaps is already lost! If it is so, why does it feel like there's a newness... which is enigmatic, yet so adorable.

For the newness, for the unexplored, for all the inhibitions, and...

For You!

Pages

Monday, August 17, 2026

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Thursday, January 1, 2026

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Sunday, July 27, 2025

Sunday, May 18, 2025

Friday, September 8, 2023

Friday, August 25, 2023

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Sunday, April 2, 2023

Saturday, February 18, 2023

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Thursday, August 18, 2022

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Thursday, August 4, 2022

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Friday, December 31, 2021

Saturday, December 18, 2021

Saturday, July 10, 2021

About Me